Hello, everyone. There are just three more weeks until Unscripted Love goes live! I hope you're excited to learn more about Chaz and Dr. Dimples. Going into the project, I didn't know much about them. I knew that Dr. D was kind of stoic and took a while to warm up and I knew that Chaz had a habit of putting his foot in his mouth. I wouldn't say it is a bad habit, because I find it to be quite adorable and great book material. I enjoyed the many surprises they shared with me and I hope you will too.
Unscripted Love is coming to a kindle near you on July 11, 2017.
“What?” Kyle asked when he caught me staring at him.
“Nothing,” I said nervously. “I was just checking out your bulge.”
“Really?” Kyle asked hopefully.
“I-I meant your bulging biceps you have on display there,” I said, recovering quickly. “Is that real sweat glistening on them or did you have someone spray you with a squirt bottle for effect?”
Kyle smiled at my discomfort and said, “It’s real sweat. I have this philosophy that if you’re not getting sweaty and dirty, then you’re not doing it right.”
I want to thank Jay Aheer for the stunning graphic! You're the best, Jay!
I'll be back soon with another teaser. Until then...
Today we welcome
Z.B. Heller to the blog. She has a new
release out so if you see banana shaped penises showing up on FB that would be
the new release, SEX ED.
Here’s a little
teaser and excerpt for your enjoyment.
Keep on reading past to for some little fun by the entertaining Z.B.
opened the nightstand and found the toy I had ordered online. A guy I knew from
one of the comic forums I belonged to swore by this toy. All right, maybe we
talked about all types of things and not just comics on this particular forum.
One time there might have been a discussion about which character we would bang
and it sort of went off the cliff from there. My choice would be Superman
because I have a dream of being plowed while flying at the same time. My second
choice would be Spiderman, because I would be curious as to what he could do
with all that webbing. Maybe a little Spidey BDSM play?
toy which sat in my hand was called the Jackhammer. The tag line on the
construction-yellow box read, Giving You a Hand at Jacking Off. The man
pictured on the box was wearing a hard hat with only the Jackhammer covering
his essential parts. His face was contorted into orgasmic pleasure.
opened the box and pulled out a plastic object that was about ten inches long.
The toy was bright, school bus yellow, with one wide end that narrowed toward
the bottom, giving it the illusion of a jackhammer. The fuller end was covered
in a clear, soft silicone, with a hole in the middle, which I assumed is where
your dick was supposed to go. I threw the box on the floor and lay down on my
bed, propping a pillow under my head and making myself comfortable.
vigorous excitement, I grabbed my stiff dick again and slipped the Jackhammer
over the crown, slowly bringing it down the shaft. It felt comfortable and
effortless as I wiggled it down until it hit the base. Inside of the toy, the
ridges of the silicone made my already sensitive dick want to explode.
eyes rolled into the back of my head as I pulled the toy painstakingly back up
the shaft. I moaned and fisted my hand around the outside, so I could get a
good grip on the toy to move it up and down. I looked down to see my shaft
appear and then disappear again, the ridged edges inside rubbed against my
skin, blessing me with exquisite pleasure.
closed my eyes and brought myself back to the hypothetical frat house. Kaleb’s
throbbing cock jutted out in front of me, waiting for me to take it into my
watering mouth. The other brothers surrounded us, pulling out their own cocks
to stroke while they looked upon us. Kaleb grabbed the base of his cock,
clutched a handful of my hair and said, “Open up.” Of course, I did, because I
wasn’t going to deny Fantasy Kaleb. I let him fuck my mouth as I took him all
the way down my throat. In this make believe world I had no gag reflex and some
pretty mad oral skills.
pulled the Jackhammer faster along my length as I started to feel the familiar
sensation of an orgasm settling at the base of my spine. My balls drew upward
and I knew that I was going to blow my load any minute. I moved the toy faster,
its suction tightening around me.
it happened. Pain. A pain like none I had ever known, almost paralyzing my
body. My eyes flew open and a shriek erupted out of my mouth like a coyote
being attacked by a T-rex. I lifted my head, almost afraid to look down, and
tried to move the toy slightly, but was unable to, pain searing from the tip of
my dick, down the shaft, and into my groin.
mother-fucking douche mongers.
heart flipped from racing with pleasure to running in fear. I started to panic
while I tried again to delicately remove the toy. After several failed
attempts, I knew I was screwed. With precise, delicate movements, I sat up on
the bed, reached to the floor, and grabbed the box the toy came in. I examined
it and searched if there was a secret release to get this fucker off. I flipped
the box over, scanning the words until I saw some directions I failed to read.
use lubricant inside silicone to avoid rupture.
of what? My dick? Holy shit, I had a ruptured dick! I don’t want to walk around
having my dick split in half. What would that mean if I had to pee? Would it go
into two different streams? Do people understand how hard it is to point and aim
one stream? Now I’ll have two to worry about? What about sex? Will I stick
one-half of my dick inside someone while jerking the other side off? Oh, the
I’m author Z.B. Heller, but you can call me Zolie, or Bertha, whatever fits
your style. First, I would like to thank Aimee Nicole Walker for having me on
her blog. I’m sure she’s likely going to regret it in the morning. I’m talking
about the type of regret like when you have sex with that one, kinda ugly, guy
because he’s friends with the guy you REALLY wanted to sleep with, and it just
made you feel that much closer to the hot guy. That type of regret puts you
I am the author of
four (and a half) titles. The first two are M/F, The Chronicles of Moxie and
First Comes Love. Next, we have the M/M, Tied Together, Tied in Knots (follow
up novella) and my newest release Sex Ed.
When Aimee asked
what I wanted to do for the blog, she suggested something like as a song
playlist; I told her I wanted to do an interview. Oh, she said, like a
character interview? Oh no, something way out in left field.
Therefore, I give
you, the readers, an EXCLUSIVE interview with...myself. Confused? Let me
explain. Everyone has different sides of themselves; we can never be the same
person twenty-four hours a day. That would be as if we were robots. Wait, I
take that back, even robots have different settings for personalities. Heck,
even my vibrator has different personalities. The one I call Fernando is my
But I digress. The
best way to get to know who I am as an author is to get to know all of my
multiple personalities. They ALL play a role in who I am, how I come up with
ideas and how I write. We have, 1. The O.C.D anal retentive named, Claire. 2. The constantly horny gay man named, Jason.
3. The mother of a ten-year-old genius, only called, Mom. 4. And finally the
snarky personality, named Zuul (shout out to Ghostbusters fans).
1: What lead you to become an author?
Claire: Because I couldn’t find a job after the
recession even though I put myself through a Bachelors degree in teaching and a
Masters in art therapy. Do you know what a mess that was?? Do you know how hard
Jason: I like the D. I wanted to write everything
about dicks. Size, shape, veins, how they get hard and how that makes people
Zuul: Because it was a fuck ton better than
working at Joann’s Fabric.
Mom: Zuul, the people who work there, are
beautiful people who earn a living.
2: What inspired you to go from writing M/F to M/M? Will you go back to M/F?
Claire: What do those letters mean? I need a
dictionary. No one moves until I understand those letters. And get the crumbs
off your shirts!
*Mom hands Claire
a dictionary then kisses her on the top of her head and gives her a cookie*
Jason: Well, I figured I read enough about guys
screwing, I exclusively watch gay porn, and it’s all about dicks. Dicks that
are moving in asses, dicks going into someone's mouth…
Mom: Jason, I’m coming after you will soap for
Jason: Is it in the shape of a dick?
Zuul: Because if life gives you lemons, you make
a fucking margarita. That and I know it would just drive a stake into my
Catholic mother-in-law’s heart.
Claire: Oh my God, she’s going to find out we said
Zuul: Aimee is a gay romance writer, the chances
of her finding this is zero. Plus, she’s a church or something.
3: What do you like to do in your spare time?
Claire: Study for my 2nd Masters degree, read,
clean the house and make sure we are on time for things.
Zuul: Which we constantly never are, lying
Mom: Look through Pinterest pages to see how I
can make really cute bento boxes for my son’s lunch. And how he will bring in
the most creative Valentine’s Day card for his class. Then, I find recipes for
dinners I make every night while my family gathers around the table.
Zuul: Like yesterday when we ordered pizza and
sat on the couch, each person on their computer and tablets?
Jason: Porn, jerk off. Sometimes I jerk off first
and then watch porn. It depends on the day of the week. Usually on Wednesday’s
I jerk off first to celebrate hump day and then watch porn later…then jerk off
4: What do you want Aimee’s readers to know about you?
Claire: That we appreciate and love every single
person who takes a chance on our books. Knowing that all the hours spent
trapped in an office that has been taken over by bunny fur (because of our pet
rabbit, Chloe), was worth it. Oh, and that we are always reviewing our grammar
errors. Which there usually are a lot off. *points finger at Zuul*
*Zuul flips Claire
Mom: I want the readers to know we do what we
do because we just want to see them grow up and be happy.
*Zuul rolls eyes*
Jason: That we love to write about guys boning.
In a lot of different ways. I guess the romance part too, but mostly the
Zuul: We appreciate the readers. Our sense of
humor isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. Just like how we feel hairless cats
are the creepiest shits on the entire planet. Want a hairless cat? Shave your
Cooch. You’re welcome for your new pet.
There you have it.
I sneak peek on what I deal with EVERYDAY! Yes, it’s exhausting, yes, I’ve
tried drowning them out with alcohol. And no, there’s not enough Xanax in the
Thank you Z.B. for sharing yourself….I mean selves with us.
If you haven’t read
this book yet – WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR – Be prepared to hold onto your sides
and cry with laughter.